"Excuse me sir—sir? I’m going to have to photograph your turkey leg over there by Porta Potties. Thank you."—Emiliano Granado. "I don't care about the race. I'm here for the Turkey Leg. It’s (the Turkey Leg) phenomenal. It cost nine dollars but it’s worth it. I'm not really sure what else is going on here, like I said, I don't really care about the race at all, I’m laser-focused on getting and eating a phenomenal, nine dollar Turkey Leg.”- Alex Warfield, (non)-spectator to the 2013 USA Pro Challenge.
Nine dollar Turkey Legs.
USA Pro Challenge Race Coverage Headphone and Radio set demo.
"We're doing Railroad Merit Badges at the History Museum today. We have about 60 to 100 kids with us.” - Kevin Robinette, Scout Leader. SIDE NOTE: How do you feel about homosexuals in the Boy Scouts? " We'll just have to see how it goes."
This Course Offical had a silver, metal whistle. She used her whistle wantonly, recklessly and without regard for, or appreciation regarding the ear health of, the hundreds of spectators immediately proximal to her position on corner #5 of the USA Pro Challenge Criterium Course.
Hang Loose, bro.
Because Team Saxo-Tinkoff participated in the 2013 USA Pro Challenge, we will reproduce a number of Team Owner Oleg Tinkov's tweets (without revision), For the Record.
Oleg Tinkov, 24 Jul "In Denmark I saw cell phone once.But it had been eaten with herring."
Oleg Tinkov, 29 Jul "he is not riding Vuelta- he is tired), LOL, what the fuck Conta is tired from,one race?He isn't tired to receive monthly HUGE check, though."1
Oleg Tinkov, ‏8 Aug "I don't think any rider from old Europe will win #TdF next 10 years. I think now is Anglo-Saxon time. Bye bye Spain/Italy and France"
Oleg Tinkov, 12 Aug "Don't Mobile and drive. #tcsbank http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmmlTQWGej4"
Oleg Tinkov, ‏29 Aug "@Nnietop89 @albertocontador i dont have Spanish meat, if i would have one, I would have won Tour de France 2014)))"
Oleg Tinkov, ‏14 Sep "We have terrible weather here in Russia, absence of infrastructure, but we have got the most SEXY girls and lots of carbohydrates :-) #sex"
Oleg Tinkov, ‏21 Sep Everyone needs something to believe in. I believe I'll have another beer now Browarmia Warshaw"
This guy used to ride for Exergy.
Drive-by hi-five.
"I’m dirty because of the sunscreen, the fact that I just rode a hundred and whatever miles, the sweating, and the science food all over my face."
"I've already been given clearance by my coach to take at least three days off. I’m going to do mostly nothing, but I might do some core work if I’m feeling fat from not doing anything. That happens sometimes. I’ve got Tour of Alberta in just over a week. I heard that the weather up there can be a little sketchy. There’s been major flooding in the last couple of months so they’ve changed some of the courses. We knew Colorado was going to be mostly training for me. My notes were to support the team however I could. Basically, I’m a C-level guy which we know for a fact now, but Alberta will be really good, because I’ll be a key part of the lead-out efforts for our sprinters."—Tom Soladay, USA Pro Challenge Lantern Rouge
Power tools.
"We're Candice and Courtney and we like the cars, the cars that go boom."
The dude in the dreads and stuffed animal hat was adamant that dude in the Waste Management jersey was Peter Sagan's brother.
MOM gazing into the sky with flowers in her (his) hands.
"Two days ago I painted my nails red with white polka dots, Matt was worried that it might jinx his performance. I want his MOM skinsuit.”—Nora Olson Cooke
“Before Colorado he was flustered and ready to quit because he had never done anything with his career. Now he’s done something. This is the pinnacle of his career so far. It’s a hard lifestyle but I want him to be happy. He’s gone 1/2 to 1/3 of the year. I don't know what’s going to happen next year. I want him to keep going but if he has to fight for a job, he probably won't do that.”—Nora Olson Cooke

A Typology: The Cream of the Cycling News Media

A Typology: Barricade Butts

  1. Please note that Alberto Contador is one of Oleg's riders. Needless to say, he won't be next year. []